courage, dear heart

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
thewertsearch
thewertsearch

You decide to SEEK COUNSEL from the Rose human's dark spectacled friend.

You believe you understand how to
proceed.

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Kanaya seeks counsel from the Knight of Time, who (possibly accidentally) lets slip some good advice...

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...and their relationship finally starts to blossom.

You put into motion a cunning plan in your SEVENTH CONVERSATION, in which you have attached a MISSION CRITICAL TEXT DOCUMENT.

We get a treat I didn't expect - a copy of the legendary document, ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt!

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It's incredible. Kanaya presented it to Rose as a transcript of a future conversation, subtly doctored to trick Rose into following a time loop.

What it actually is is an obviously doctored transcript, where Kanaya Tactically Omits every awkward interaction, and edits Rose's responses with her typing quirk.

Kanaya isn't trying to hide her edits - which makes this document less of a clever trick, and more of a genuine attempt by Kanaya to communicate something to Rose.

TT: i am the queen of books.
TT: I Am Also Infuriatingly Aloof
TT: And Difficult To Engage With
TT: When Maybe All The Other Person Wants To Do Is Maybe To Try To
Be My Friend

"I Want To Get To Know You."

TT: it's hard to keep track with all your time nonsense.
TT: Am I Being Sincere Here
TT: In Retrospect It Will Probably Seem Unlikely To My Current Conversational
Partner

"I Am Trying Really Hard To Understand You."

TT: because i am basically in love with him, you are right.
TT: It Is At This Point I Admit To Flushed Longings For The Ignoramus Who Likes Terrible Films
TT: I Am Doing This Only To Bo
ther You

"When You Joked About Liking John It Bothered Me. You Can Probably Figure Out Why."

TT: Why Would I Even Be Saying Things Like This
TT: Of Course
TT: I Have Been So Foolish
TT: It Is Because I Am Trolling You
TT: I Wonder Where I Could Have Possibly Gotten The Idea To Do That In
The First Place

"I Know We Got Off On The Wrong Foot, But It Was Mostly Because Of Time Loop Nonsense."

ConversationWithAVeryStupidGirl.Txt is so ironic, it's tipped over into sincerity - and it's asking a very simple question.

"I Like You. Can We Start Again?"

In their next conversation, Rose provides an answer.

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And that answer is yes.

hsa my heart is FULL !
kendrene
inkskinned

kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.

i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."

goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'

"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.

behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."

"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."

"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."

later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."

she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.

the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?

i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.

but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.

each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".

but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.

rccs i hope i can start learning this lesson in the near future
roach-works
msfcatlover

The reason 1st Person POV is so derided in fanfic is because of characterization. In 3rd Person POV, you just have to convince us that the character would say or do that thing, and if not we’re sometimes willing to overlook it for the sake of the plot. In 1st Person, every single line of the story needs to feel In-Character, and OOC moments become grating faster because by sheer statistics they feel like they happen more often.

You basically have to find an author who perfectly vibes with your interpretation of that character and who’s a good enough writer that it doesn’t feel clunky. Original fiction doesn’t have this problem nearly so much, because there’s no pre-built expectations. “Ah, so this is what this character thinks when confronted with this thing? Good to know.” As opposed to fanfic, where the reader will often find themselves going, “No, that’s not what they’d think if they saw that. No, that’s not how they’d feel if someone said that. No, this narration is incorrect.” 

After being burned like that a certain number of times, lots of readers end up with a Pavlovian response. They see 1st Person POV, they see that first “I,” and they’re immediately annoyed because 1st Person POV stories have so often annoyed them in the past. They start avoiding them out of principle.

(This is not dissimilar to the problem with 2nd Person POV in any format, outside of maybe Choose Your Own Adventure novels. The author directly tells you, the reader, how you think/feel/react, and you, the reader, go, “WTF, no I don’t!” Which then jerks you out of the immersion & makes the story less enjoyable.)

None of which is to say don’t use those formats if you enjoy them. Just… I saw some people expressing frustration over the general distaste fandom culture seems to have for 1st Person POV, and while I don’t want to get involved in that argument, I did want to explain. For general information, I guess.

captainlordauditor

This is a really good insight, and I’m wondering now if this is why I’m so much more tolerant of 1st person pov in fanfic for novels written in 1st person - if you can convincingly mimic the author’s voice, most of the characterization will pass.

necer0s

I suspect this is also why Self Insert/Original Character fics can get away with 1st person so easily, because there’s no established character to contradict. If anything, this makes it a superior tool for the purpose of connecting the reader with this character who’s new to the canon.

roach-works

it’s useful to keep in mind that every story has at least four agents: the narrator, the character(s), the audience, and the author. the agents here have greater and lesser power as well as greater or lesser control over one another, and their roles can also overlap or even swap.

the narrator isn’t necessarily the author: think of how daniel handler isn’t the same guy as lemony snickett. the author has set it up so that the narrator of A Series Of Unfortunate Events who tells the story is also a peripheral character in the story and also stands with his audience, helpless to do anything but witness the tragedy unfolding.

Y/N stories also abridge the role of audience, character, and narrator: the author is pretending to be you to help you pretend to be a character. the narrator isn’t the author herself, it’s a mutual cooperation.

in some third person stories, the narrator and author are almost indistinguishable, but they’re still never quite the same, and sometimes that subtle distinction is really fun to examine; in lord of the rings, for instance, tolkein presents the story as a translation from an earlier era. tolkein the author hides very slyly behind tolkein the translator; playing himself playing himself. the princess bride does this more blatantly, almost bombasically, with goldman the author piously reminding you at every turn that he’s only abridging the original princess bride which was written by s morgenstern.

in first person stories, the narrator is one specific character, so the distance between the narrator and the author is wide and explicit, while the distance between the narrator and the audience is much more fluid and obscure.

no conclusion, just that keeping in mind these positions can really help you understand what you do, and don’t, like from a story. and more intentionally work out how you want to frame the stories you yourself are writing.